so, lately ive been really sort of "messed up." everything. for EVERYTHING, i question it and its roots, no matter what is is. like, someone will do something right, or wrong, and i immediatly think "wait, who says what is right and wrong, its only what we have been taught and our society conforms too. but why? if its right and wrong to us, is it right and worng to other lifeforms, which of course, there has to be. there is no reason to think that in this enitre universe, which is enormous, a speck known as earth is the only thing that features life? that is a load of bullshit. how come nobody ever thinks about this stuff, and when you do they just say "wow, your deep." which i have translated into " wow, that scares me becuase im a fucking dumbass who cant think for myself." but what i decided is that religious lawas and lifestyles are an escape from truth, because people are afraid. theres noway that the heaven "as the church teached it to be" exists. if heaven is a place where you go when you die, never to be again, then what? its proven that matter and energy cannot be :created, destroyed, or changed. this has to mean when you die, the matter decomposes to the soil, but your energy goes to something else, maybe a newborn, maybe the air...but an eternal resting place doesnt make any fucking sense, good one jesus, maybe you shouldve stayed in school longer and learned a bit more before you preached your bullshit that u have millions or people worshipping you for.. thanks alot. but, im not throwing away the idea of god at all. i truly belive there was a greater force to get this started, and that it just wasnt by chance. but...people believe when the end of the world comes, it will be the end all of end all. well, go fuck yourself. expalin to me this. the dinosaurs existed far linger than humnas have, then they just became extinct and their enitre habitat's changed as well. they animals and vegitation changed. so the world wont just end, it just basicly "sheds its skin", much like a snake, and much like humans, how we shed our skin every 7 years. therefore, i hink the world just recreates, as do we. because, how else do we know so much about history, we had to have been there and we get instincts that breakthrough and we put pieces together..., there has to be something when you can hear a story of ancient rome, and your mind can create a perfect picture of it. and also, if everythinjg is matter, technicaaly it is all similar and realted, but then...do we matter at all...if you strip down the laws, towns, socity's. "country's", allegiances, and everything materlai, so you are completely left with self simplicity and insticnt, that is what matters. how did all this "caring strictly about what others think" come into play?


thinking about this makes you insnae. it makes you depressed and happy at once, so lonely and alone, yet surrounded, all at the same time. but you can either think about it...or not, and just go along with whatever rolls yourway, but then...what the fuck are YOU doing? NOtHING, youre just doing and thinking what has already been done and thought for you.


maybe i should see someone....